itschelseaahere

I may have moved away from livejournal...

I may come back, i'm just off to blogger for abit. :>

See you livejournal! I'll be back in... 2011? MAYBE!!!!!
The day i get a tagboard here. AHAAHH no i kid.

Cause idk, commenting seems mafan-er than tagging, RIGHT?
SO yahlor!

Okay bye LANJIAO. SEE YOU NEXT TIME! :)

Just an FYI, i just finished my work, my group porject and it's really crappy, but i dont really give much shit ya?

Came home today and my mother was ALL OVER ME.
At the lift i met her and there was n oreason to smile okay, i don't smile, im not smiley, i am not all that.

And she was all big reaction about it

And  isaid i was tired and it was school.
Thing is although i woke up at 6am, and it's not teh ebst dy every, school was pretty okay too.
It wasn't school, i slept on the bus, i wasnt tired.

YOU.
I sms you ask you if you want to meet for lunc and you have to give me so much shit about how i should meet you at dhoby ghaut.
NO. I DO NOT LIKE TO GO OUT OF MY WAY TO HELLS CORNER OR WHATEVER.
I DO NOT LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW THATY!
 

I LIKE TO STAY WITHIN WALKING DISTANCE FROM HOME.
I JUST LIKE THINGS THAT WAY.
Then she said I NEEDED T GO BRAS BASAH!
I NEVER SAID I NEEDED TO GO BRAS BASAH.
I NEEDED TO GO TO A BOOK STORE, EG. KINOKUNIYA AND FIND A PRINT SHOP ALONG THE WAY.
WHAT BRAS BASAH>?

And then she said she go bathe and al lthat shit.
Then i kept saying forget it ebcause I HATE CONVERSATIONS LIKE THIS.

She keeps telling me to do something i DO NOT want to do, she asks it as a question but even when i say NO she doesnt back off.

Ands he always has no opinion, "What do you think..." ":Llike that lor?"
WTF. JUST TELL PEOPLE HOW YOU FEEL *NOT BITCH FIT ALL YOUR ANGER TO ME, LIKE I LIKE FRIED CHICKEN TODAY.*

EVEN WITH MY FUCKING LIFE!!!
I ASK HER ABOUT MY LIFE AND SHE HAS NO FUCKING ADVICE FOR ME!

I dont know what to do
And she goes "Hiyah its all up to you."
AND WHWEN I SAY I WANT TO DO A SPECIFICT HING YOU GET ALL PISSED OFF.
WELL THATS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU NEVER EVER EVER GIVE ME ANY FUCKING ADVICE.

The only advice i remember you giving me is "Don't ahve best friends." YES, THAT WS IT>

Thanks mom, that's all i need to know about life, TO NOT have besties!

Basically the lunch thing already ruined my fucking mood.
And then she just was so whatever la, come home then say.
-.- I DONT LIKE GOING HOME THEN GOING OUT AGAIN, YOU KNOW THAT TOO.

I either meet you along the way home or we don't fucking eat at all.
 

AND SHE NEVER EVER EVER REPLIED FUCKING MESSAGES.
THROW AWAY YOUR PHONE LA!

I meesage her 10 times she replies maybe THREE times?
Fucking annonoying.
/Just fucking reply, and when she call once person never answer she makes such a big deal when im not even exaggerating, call her 10 times sometimes she also don't pick up. TEN, Trust me i have this OCD thing i cant stop at 6 or 7 or 8 or 9.. I NEED WHOLE WHOLE NUMBERS, i always leave it at 10 once it's like 6-9.
 

And she says i DISLIKE her, HOW CHILDISH CAN SHE GET?
You might as well tell me "You odn't want friend me already right?"
YES, a mother telling her daughter "You must dislike me." when clearly i'm just annoyed is as good as saying "I don't friend you anymore."
 

If i disliked a person, i wouldn't bother about the person IGNORING MY TEXTS AND CALLS AND MAKING ME MEET HER SO FUCKING FAR AWAY LIKE DHOBY GHAUT WHEN WE CAN JUST MEET AT FESTIVAL MARKET.

Fucking insanity.
FUCKING INSANITY.
I SWEAR SOMETIMES I FEEL SO ANGRY I WANT TO PHYSICALLY EXPLODE.
Because there's so many htoughts, and so much emotion I just can't hold it all in.
I NEED TO EXPLODE PHYSICALLY.
 

I might consider being a suicide bomber..
I mean yah just strap on your bombs and send me in!

I'm better off dead, can't deal with all this shit anymore.

So why do people who don;t reply texts cheese me off? Because my mother does it too and it ALREADY drives me insane.
 

UGH, and on hte way back this annoying boy was damn annoying,as his name suggests,m annoying boy.

Running around the mother like one fucking dog then he almost bumped into me.
YEs, i only got so pissed because i was already pissed from my mother ignoring my texts and taking my lunch invites as CRAP, FUCKING CRAP.

Never again will i invite her out to meet me for lunch.
I will eat my own fucking foood.

ANd dont even say i never offer to buy food back or anything.
YOU. REJECT.
YOU. IGNORE.
YOU. ARE. DRIVING. ME. INSANE.
I AM DRIVING ME INSANE.

MAYBE I AM INSANE! MENTALLY UNSTABLE.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE "SENT ME TO THE GIRLS HOME"
MAYBE I DID RUIN YOUR LIFE!
MAYBE I RUINED YOUR DREAMNS!! EVERYTHING!!
 

Not my dad, not you, not my brother or sister. JUST ME OKAY.
 

Besides, think about it, my life is ruined and everyones life think about it if it sucks, its all because of YOU.

And you can't blame anyone else.

YEs i slistened to my sister ad chose PID.
But i ASKED her and i CHOSE TO LISTEN.

So it's my fault.
Simple/

So if i do manager to turn my life around, and get things better, i would like to claim full credit... most credit... more credit.

Yahla whatever im just so fucked now.

Got really cheesed off earlier.

No print shops and the fact that i have to go out and scout for fucking print shops, the fact my family doesn't seem to even own a proper printer, the fact that my family is so dysfunctional, that really we don't communicate ever, not even when i start a conversation with my mother and in return get ignored THRICE. And then get stupid answers in return.
 

I don't know, i htink i've really had enough.
All this keeping everything in shit, it is fucked up.

Now every tiny piece of hamster shit gets me up the wall.
Really, it's like i'm Adam Sandler in Anger Management,
 

Talk about anger management, i was alone all day today, i was very happy.
I started singing "I feel pretty, oh so pretty, i feel prettyy and witty and gaaaaay!"
The Anger Management song.. Well not the Anger Management song but the one Jack made Adam sing.

I sang it to my dog.
My dog is the one PERSON, i consider him human.
He's the only one there for me always.
 

I mean he can't do me favours or anything but just hi being there just means the world and so much more to me.
I know one day he'll go, and i'll be completely devastated, he's lived for really long now.
 

I remwmber my life, as everyday with him there, waiting to pounce on you thinking he can get food or soemthing.
Sigh.

Also watched Smposh videos, caught up on them.
My favourites are lunchtime with smosh.

If i could make videos like that and earn a lving it would be really cool.

But  actually the aprt that makes me happy if more having your best friend there with you, you both do soemthing you liek adn you are happy.
I've realised, it isnt even about the money or fame, i just want to do something i enjoy with my mate, and have fun together.

I sound liek a complete lesbian now, but i mean... that's kind of all that i REALLY want, to be with my best friend, happy.
And lunchtime with Smosh is really awesome O.K.
findingtwitterquestions! Findingtwitterquestions!!!
I started out disliking Smosh, then i like IAN, and ohhh everybody lieks Anthony.
Now i kinda like them both as a duo.
Ian is cool, so is Anthony.

Oh but oen thing, i cannot edit videos, don't ask me to do anything with computer programs, effects and whatnot.
Ask me to blog, illegally download programs, music, TV shows, go shoipping, make you laugh, listen, whatever i can.

EVERYTHING EXCEPT EDITING AND ILLUSTRATING ON COMPUTERS AND ALL THAT.
Swear, doing things by hand is so much easier and personal, amnd special/

Yep.
Oh yea, i got my motobike rendering,
SHOW YOU SHOW YOU!

I stayed up all night, do 5 minutes.. slack 10 minutes.
ACtually do like 2 minutes rest 10 minutes la.
 

I seriously think i had ADHD as a child, i like had al lhte symptoms; BASICALLY, ANNOYING CHILD WITH UNLIMITED BUNDLES OF ENERGY. :)

And then it developed into bipolar. HAAHHAHAAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHA.
VBut SRSLY, i was damn nnoying as a child, DAMN annoying everyday father come home i drag him to dance to westlife with me. WTF RIGHT?
 

But he would entertian me! He would wait for my mom to go to owrk then we can jump o nthe bed like siao. :>
Good times.

Ohyesss, GREGORY GORGEOUS = TOO GORGEOUS.
And he said what we ar right, is what we used to be as kids.
What we did as kids is what we really want because we were young and innocent and we just did whatever made us happy.

See, it makes sense, i used to love colouring, now i love rendering!
I used to love music and acting like a child, i sTILL love music and i STILL love acting like a child. Heh. :)

Anyways where was i.. OH also wanted to say Take That's getting better..
This performance im about to embd, WAY better than the X factor one.

X factor one Robbie was quite off key... Or was it just me?
Like it was kinda dreadful..... this performance, it was so polished, it was on key, and the harmony and everything just flowed.
 

CHEY, think i simon cowell. HAHAHAHA, but really it's like ADam's Black or white performance MJ week, or AMAs singing.
Comparable to Robbie's performance of The Flood on X Factor.
But Robbie i understand it's the nerves, he's a complex man. i understand..... :)

AYE.. AND OMG, Demi is like going to end up like Lindsay!!!!!
I actually LIKE Demi, more than Miley or Selena and Taylor!
And it's so sad.

And her vaginafaced dancer went to reveal to press than Demi is like crazy partying and shit.
So Demi got pissed off, entered the plan, punched her and scolded her.
And the woman is pressing charges.
I mean stay the fuck out of people's business right?
 

Seriously, like example i hate Miley but i would have the deceny to THINK taht i should stay out.
I mean i would think so, i might rat on her.. but i might not, maybe she's a nice person, i dont know her i should judge her too much.

She's probably kind of a slut but she's goiung thru things too.. i guess?
And i used to LOVE Joe Jonas, noiw i would much rather date Nick.
Joe is a player, he's hot, but honestly, kind of a douchebag, one girl, dump, next dump, next, dump next, i lloveher, dump nexty.
Nick is like Kevin, devoted moslty, sensitive and like a nice MAN.

Joe is a cute BOYFRIEND type yknow?
 

I sound liek i know them, HAHAHA IWISH!
Sigh, all these things get my mood so high,, fly like a G6!

Oh the other day in class, someone asked "What is aG6"
"Is it a G-string."
"G-string is G-string, why G6?:"
"I dunno, i gu8ess only."

In my head i just kepy going "AEROPLANE, AEROPLANE!D DIDNT DAVID ALREADY TEACH YO!U! PLANE!! A G6 IS A FUCKIHNG PLANE YOU MORON NOW FUCKING UDNERWEAR!!!!!"

It almost exploded, like i wanted to og "Uhm, a G6 is a plane."
But i just went back to work.

It was an empty classroom.
Yah, as in like 4 people.

Okay i need to wake up fucking ealry tmr go school print pictures to do collage!!!
Like htink i waking up HOLYSHIT, to reach at 9 i wake up at 640.
IF I WANT TO REACH AT 8, I HAVE TO WAKE UP 4plus 5???? ARE YOU KIDDING ME SERIOUSLY? OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!

And  ididnt sleep last night.
I slept too much and i wasnt tired and i was on youtube, you gerrit.

"Yah, holy shit....
I really dislike schooll and i also relaised, not because of the people
Because school in general makes me very unhappy, grouchy, depressed, not nice to be around, nice to hate, nice to point at and laugh.

YES, school makes me so terribly grumpy and sensitive (bad kinda sensitive, small things affect me to a degree you cannot imagine)
Like i just sat on hte sofa suddenly very grumpy all because i was so frustrated with school and so upset and so helpless, i was telling my mom about the printer and all that,and that was the low of today, THINKING about school.
 

And i ahvent got anything done to appeal at NGEE ANN, IDK WHAT TO DO!! FUCK ME FUCK ME FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK ME.


SERIOUSLY IDK WHAT TO DO NOW. IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK.

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK.
SEEEE, SEE! I talk about school i get grumpy, then i mopve on to TAKE THAT AND ETC and WOOHOO! HAPPY!
Then VROOOSH ROCK BOTTOM OF BIKINI BOTTOM.

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH.
Life, WHY DONT YOU JSUT STOP GIVING ME SHIT AND START HANDING ME LEMONS ALREADY??????

On a lighter note, WE'RE ALL SO CLOSE TO THE NEXT EPISODE OF BURN NOTICE.
WHERE NATE FINDS A CAR FULL OF DRUGS AND HE TURNS TO MICHAEL FO HELP AND IDK WHAT HAPPENS NEXT BUT MICHAEL AND THE OTHER GY.,.. JESSE! THEY MADE UOP, AW SO CUTE I LOVE THEM TWO BFFFFFFFFSS YALLLL!!!!
 

Ya, 2nd December.. SO DOIWNLOAD 3rd DECEMBER!!!!!...
 

WTF FIVE DAYS??????????????????????????????
Ah screw it i've already wiated so mnay days...

On another featherlite note, HAWAII FIVE-0 TOMORROWW! means ddownload day after.
TOMORROW DOWNLOAD WALKING DEAD!
 

I remember my schedules you know.

Sun- Walking Dead.
Mon- H 50
Thurs- BN.

20 Jan, Royal Pains.
And either 16Jan or 22nd Jan WC! MATT BOMER!!!!!!! WOOHOO!!

USA NETWORK I FRIGGIN LOVE YOU. :D
And H50.. i dunno what network you from but you bastards better not cancel the show okay! ):

SEE HAPPY AGAIN!!
WHAT IS THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS?????

OHOH! GERARD WAY DISSED MILEY, I LOVE THA^T MAN SO FRIGGIN MUCH.
His read hair is so smexy also BTW.
Yah okay!
 

OH ALMOST FORGOT!!
 

Swear my mind capacity is like 1GB onleh. 
Need to buy hardrive.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97: Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth.

Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine. Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum.

 

 The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing every day that scares you. Sing. Don't be reckless with other people's hearts.

Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours. Floss. Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself. Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters.

 
Throw away your old bank statements. Stretch. Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

 

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

 

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own. Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room. Read the directions, even if you don't follow them. Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

 

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

 

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

 

 Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths:
Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

 

Respect your elders. Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out. Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it.

 

Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth. But trust me on the sunscreen. "

 

-Mary Schmich

Also, i just went on youtube and stumbled on some RIP videos, i read the story on Baby P, it's so tragic.

And also Robert Enke's story. And it just moved me.

He killed himself, last year, on my birthday (not that it matters, it's still very saddening) because 6 years before, his daughter died from a ver rare heart condition, he fell into depression and he pretended to get better so as to not lose his adopted daughter Leila.

He got so sacred people would find out about his acute depression and he would lose Leila, he killed himself.
He visited his daughters grave everyday, for 6 years and he just never really got over it.

And i saw pictures, he looked so happy with his daughter, like you could see the happiness in his eyes.
And i cried cause where is the justice in this world.

You know i'm living a life so miserable, mostly miserable cause i make it to be.
And people who yearn to live a happy life with their loved ones, so simple, can;t have it.

And  ithought, if i could give up my life, to give Robert his daughter back i owuld.
Because he would be so happy, his daughter would ahve a wonderful family, they would be truly happier.
If i could give up my life, for someone who can definitely do better with it.

That baby girl could have grown up with an awesome dad, awesome mom and maybe even more siblings.
But she has the heart condition and she went to heaven.
Her dad loved her so much 6 years after he went to find her.

And the thought of a person's love so deep really touched me.

And i also wondered, if i died would anybody give a shit?
Or would i just be erased from the face of this earth, just like that.
Does anybody love me THAT much, do i mean the world to anybody? Do i mean anything to anybody.
Do i have a purpose being here, if not i don't see the purpose staying here.
 

Maybe i'm being selfish, or even paranoid.
But these thoughts just crawl into my head soemtimes.
Like someone else deserves this life more than i do.

Someone else deserves a chance to live, more than i do.
I don;t know why i'm here, i hope i find my purpose.
Niot my ambition, but my purpose in life.

What was i brought here to do.
 

You know when you think you want something.
Could it be just your judgement; clouded?
Like you want it so bad you don't open up to suggestions of the plus points of everything else in the world, not even facts.. or opinions.

 

My sister keeps insisting design is my thing.
She keeps telling me music isn't.
I know for a fact design idn't my thing, i want to know if music is.

If it isn't i don't see a point in going on.
The only thing i like is something i will never succeed in, and nothing else in the world insterests me, how do you move on?
 

If you fall, and tumble down till you hit rock bottom, but you know ONE DEFINITE route out, it's gonna get better.
Even if it's tough or long, you know it leads you out for sure, you know it's gonna get better.

I've been stuck at rock bottom for so long.
I don't know which path leads me out, i know this one i'm on doesnt.
I want to go out this path, but people warn me, "no."
I don't know ONE path that leads me out.
 

I'm going around and around in circles and sometimes i get so tired having to think about this thing again.
Life, why can't life be a simple 4 lettered word, like any other.
 

Why do we have to live up to expectations.
Why do we need to fit in.
Why do we need to fit into this box.
Why do we stay in this box.
Why don't stray from out current paths just to try things out.
 

Why doesn't anyone support anyone else's decision stupid as they may seem, hopeless they may seem.
Why doesn everything have to be a clear cut yes or no, why not "Try it, cause you'll never know."
It's just "No, it's not your thing."
 

How do you know what is my thing and what isn't,
How do you know what another person feels for so deeply.
How do you know when you're truly happy or when happiness or opportunity is gonna come knocking.
 

How to we survive.
 

I think music is what i want to do, the only thing i want to do.
The thing i don't knnow if this is my heart, and what i mean truly..
Or is this just my mind playing tricks, because i want it for the sake of wanting it i shut out everything else.

 

This is my life in my hands.
And i'm letting it all slip away, slowly.
I have full control yet no control. Ironic.

I can change my destiny, i can change my life.
I want to change my destiny i want to chnage my life.
What is it that's holding me back?
What is it?
 

Is it my fear or rejection, failure, i just have no courage, i know deep down i can't do it..
 

I don't need a nudge or a push, right now, given my situation..
I need to be put on a rocket and launched into my dreams.
I don't know what's holding me back.

I have big dreams.
I have amibitions.
I KNOW what i WANT to do; regardless of ability to perform.
I just need to find out why i've been sitting on it.
 

All this while, knowing, wnating, loving and yearning so much, yet i sit here as the clock ticks, and the chances get slimmer.
I NEED to do something, but i can't bring myself to do it.
I can't stay i can;t go.

I want a change of environment so badly
I want to start all over.
I want to meet new people, get a new perspective.

I want to rebuild my life block by block.
I want to get rid of my past and everything that's tied me back to this life, this me.

I want a new identity, a new face, a new name, a new country, a new home, new life.
I can't keep holding myself back, but i am.
 

I just don't know what i want from me anymore.
I don;t know whats right for me.
I don;t know my heart.
I can;t differenciate common sense, gut and my heart speaking out to me.
I just keep coming back for more of this discussion, all in my head.

I can't turn left. Or right. Or stay onm this straight path.
I have to make my own path... OR DO I?
 

Gosh, just let me meet a nice( rich) man, and that's it.
I'll settle for it.
No big dreams, no ambitions, no tourbus or badass weed smoking in Amsterdam.
ven this sounds bad.
 

WELL CHELSEA IF EVERYTHING SOUNDS SO FUCKIN BAD THEN WHY DONT YOU JUST GO FUCK YOURSELF TILL YO)UR BRAINS FLOW OUT AND YOU DIE. THE END.

Haven't updated for crazy long!

 

Uhm... I haven't slept a wink.
Doing my rendering.... Pictures when i get home from school later/tomorrow.
 

Anyways ketchup past few days, i want a motorola mielstone, not the milesotne XT, the milestone with he slide keypad.

I was very turned on, kinda by Adam and his blowjob.
He gave his microphone a very very very sexy blowjob, i wish i wer the microphone.. but yah i don't have a dick.

But at the moment i wish i had a dick and i wish that was my dick.
And he was smoking weed, legal in Amsterdam.

Ay ay ay.. I'm so tired i forgot everything.. I had nothing to say actually.

Okay la, really blank now.
Bye.

Had a freaky nightmare yesterday, creeeepy shiat.

Someone chased me and started throwing rocks at me.
Well not at me, another person behind me perhaps was throwing back, so i probably got caught in between their ROCK FIGHT?


And then a rock hit me, and i started bleeding!
And then comeone else i have no idea who even, passed me a bag of water? ice? forgot.. a bag of somethin'

So i stick it in my shirt and i was rushing of somewhere.... again, i dunno where.

Then i reach destination dunno where and i remove the water bag.. ica bag someething bag.. and tissue and all.
And THERE'S A HOLE IN ME!
And i just stand there with a HOLE IN MY SIDE.
 

So i lie down and there's still a VERY big hole in me, you know, it was like just a hole!!! WTF.
It's still very disturbing, NOW. IMAGINE A HOLE IN YOU!!!
It's like not a raw hole, it was like clean, like no open flesh, like your nostril kind of hole!!!
Like i could fit a stopper in just to close it, like a flesh wound closes and heals.
This was like it healed already and there's just a hole there. Like those cows that have holes in them so you can put your hand in!
YAH!!!
 

But i thought i should get water to wash it to clean it, and so i poured some water on the side of the hole and the water went in.
And i remembered feeling so disgusted and scared because WATER JUST FELL INTO A HOLE ON ME AND IS INSIDE MY BODY.

So i squeezed the side and i remembered FEELING a very queasy feeling.
And water flowed out with some weird liquid, i swear i shivered.
 

And so i got scared and istopped and i just stared at the hole.
Then this person came with i think this IV thing and i took the needle and
somehow i had the needle like pointing to me right, and i pressed something and a needle came from underneath and poked me!!!!

Wtf right? IV with needles poingint 90 degrees, TWO needles. Yes, again quite scary also cause i hate needles.

Then i poked myself but i pretended nothing happened cause i was very scared i was going to die, YES I WAS SCARED OF DEATH.
IRL i htink dying not scary but in my dreams i was very very scared because WHEN DO YOU SEE A HOLE IN YOURSELF? WHEN?
 

So i pretended nothing happened and let the male nurse, yah some weird ass male nurse appeared!!
I just like put the needle thing down.
And then i wake up and i forgot but i see someone there... forgot who.

But then i hear that ive been asleep for 3 days, but later someone else says one day!
Confusing la, but when i woke up i STILL has submission!!
WHICH IS SO FUNNY CAUSE YSTD I WAS FREAKED OUT CAUSE SUBMISSION TODAY!
 

So i went to school with a hole in me.. But when i looked the hole was gone, like a scar tissue formed overfreakingnight.
And somebody tells me so and so visited like everyday
Someone i practically don't know! I know the existance of this person but i don't KNOW the person.
And i was so puzzled and i was wondering how the hell he even knew or anything.

But it was all so confusing.
Basically i saw myself with a hole in my side,  i remembered my reaction actually, i went "OHMYGOD."
Oh and i told my mother i hitnk i needed help and she came and she saw and she had a reaction like OMG,
but she didnt sat OMG. Then she went to squeeze my hole. And i got even more scared.
 

OMG and she told me i had this very rare condition i needed to drip this white thing IN MY HOLE every 3 hours!
And i got damn paranois because if i forget to drip i will die!
I remembered her emphasizing the THREE HOURS EXACTLY.

And  ifell asleep and i woke up.. awhile later i asked my mother if she helped me dripped the thing in me every 3 horus!!
And she said yes so i was like PHEW.

Fuck but that was damn scary... Scarier than the one where i got chased by kangaroos that turned into monsters.

I've had somepretty scary nightmares..

I remembered i had a recurring one.
 

When i was younger, i dreamt i went to the kopitam then somehow there was a robbery so i went to hide and i got kidnapped because the ah pek pointed them to me!
 

And a few times ireamt i tried to get away abut couldt, used different strategies to hide but failed.
Like ALL the same scene just me doing different things.

Then finally one i remembered i ran away and saw my parents at the kopitiam and i ran to them nad cried.
 

AHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAA.

You try dreaming yourself with a friggin hole, and i saw blood all over my side, tissue all red and the water bag thing all bloody.
Was so freaky wtf............

Okay damn tired.. watching 2.5 men also.
So ya bye.

 

BURN NOTICE EP TODAY!!
I WATHED! FINSIHED SO FAST LA WTF!!!!!

I NEED TO WAIT TILL 2nd DEC!! ):

BUT WHATEVER, I HOPE SEASON 5 COMES OUT JAN 2011!!! :D

 

Okay bye!

"That's what i love about you, you discard women regardless of their financial status."

 

 

HOWARD'S SO ADORABLE RIGHT??? OMFG.
The way he fiddles with Mark's mike stand, think never tighten properly.
SO CUTE OMGOSH!!!

And he dances well okay, BETTER THAN JASON.
Jason the dude that break dances at the end? Howard can do like 50 times better, no kidding, like not biased, really!
Go look up older videos. :) Howard o Howard.

Ay... Yahla, HE's SO CUTE.
He still has his nipple ring if i am not wrong. :>
Nipple rings on ang moh men generall hot, specially if they have a little scruff.

Eg, CM Punk, HOWARD!
 

Eegahs, i keep smiling to myself when i watch Howard. :>

In their REALY hey days, Howard had a phase where he has dreadlocks.
First itme in my ENTIRE life i htink it looks good on a guy.
I don't like dreadlocks, not a big fan with men with long hair either.
But this Howard, ZOOWEEMAMA!

His locks were HOT.
Hehehe.

And Gary cannot dance, he shouldnt dance. Don't dance.
LEave the dancing to Howard (and Jason, dont like him much but he's a good dancer as well, so yah.)
 

 


DAM NSMEXY RIGHT MY HOWARD?
OMG.

 

Im going to look for cute tt videos to smile at Howard. :>
Bai.

HOWARD DONLAD IS SO SEXY,
He sings right, then some part sounds like block nose sound, first time you hear abit weird.
But you'll grow to LOVELOVELOVE it.

It's like Adam's scream.
 

Love it or hate it,
Howard is turning me on, HAAHAHHA not.
No la, he's really damn smexy and his lisp OMTIANTIANTIANTIAN I WANT TO MARRY HIM ALSO.

I have a thing for weird men right?
I like Jeff D cause he's well hot and all that but he's got a very teeny tiny underbite, very cute!!!!! OMTIAN ALSO.
Then Howard and his abit block nose sound and his LISP!
Nalts also, his lisp very cute!!!!

OMG, what is wrong with me!
But really, Howard is really OHMYTIAN.

He's ALSO A PIANIST and house producer, choregrapher.. so thats on top of drummer, DJ and singer songwriter!
He's so much talent powerpacked into one!

He can dance very well, go look for old take that videos, he dances 2834772347263408923 times better than bieber okay!!!!

He's damn awesome, when he dances i smiloe to my screen!!!!

He wsa take that's choregrapher, together with jason orange.

Howard oh howard you melt my fucking heart also.

JEff D.. i cannot wait for tmr's episode, which i can download day after.
:D
Then no BNM for 2 weeks leh!
Drec then continue, then 16 dec TWO EPISODES!
 

I hope Season 5 plays like Jan 2011. HAHAH, impatient ah!

Anyways fuckload of work to do, wnated to not sleep ystd but i was so tired.
took a 30 minutes nap and i drooled ALL OVER my work, omtian, cause i work on hte floor.
Then later woke up.. stone abit i fell asleep till 4am.
Then istone abit buay tahan slept at 5 plus.
Then set alarm at 11plus, i slept in till 1 smth.

 

Urgh, tonight i think might not be able to get any sleep.
Need to do illustrator also but idk how, also no illustrator, can dl but idkwhat to do download for what?

And most IMPT 3 A3 boards for HCD!!!
Okayokay, i was taking a break..
TAKE THAT IS AWESOME POSSUM BLOSSOM WHATEVER.
I LOVE THEM SO MUCHHH.

You know i am more exited to watch them thanAdam?
Like cause yahla watch Adam before but you see, its TAKE THAT.
LEGENDARY!!
 

Their ticket sales fastest in UK History!
One of the most successful Biritsh boybands!!!!
So much so that whn they split they had to set up SUYICEIDE hotlines?

Eh but just saying Howard can sing very high notes and when he sings the background vocals he makes the songs feel very full.
He's good. GOOD. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD.
 

Eight lettersis a nice song, but too long.
"8 letters, and 3 words, one meaning."

First i htought the 8 letters were TAKETHAT.
-.- Then i realised oh its ILOVEYOU not TAKETHAT.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH.

SOS and tHE FLOOD is FRACKEN NICE! "D
Hiyah okay la. need to go... So sian la do work.